American Horror Story Coven Recap S3E13: The Seven Wonders

American Horror Story Coven, S3E13: The Seven Wonders

Original Airdate: January 29, 2014

Recap by Sarabeth Pollock

 

A few months ago, when the Stevie Nicks rumor mill started swirling, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk hinted that we wouldn’t see the end of Stevie Nicks in episode 10.  As they talked on set, she pointed out that she sang about many of the things they were doing.  It was a match made in…well, AHS-dom.

Tonight’s season finale begins with Stevie Nicks entering the house, dressed head to toe in black, complete with shawl and top hat.  She sings Fleetwood Mac’s classic song “Seven Wonders” as she wanders through the desolate house.  In the conservatory, Misty Day is twirling madly.  Upstairs, Zoe studies her books while she and her bed hover several feet above the ground.  Madison takes a bath, and with the wave of her hands she creates bubbles in the tub and ignites the candles all around her.  A black cat strolls through the house and into Queenie’s room, where she is on the floor using her Voodoo powers to resurrect Nan.  Misty Day snips a lily blossom from a plant and then watches as her powers regenerate another bud.  She smiles broadly.  The four girls descend the stairs as Stevie wishes them good luck.  “I’ll never live to see the Seven Wonders,” she sings.

I have a feeling we’re in for a bumpy ride tonight….  And if it feels like this recap is more of a play by play, then in the spirit of the Olympics, consider this a game of life and death.

Myrtle scoops caviar with a pearl spoon.  She tells the girls that it’s probable, though never proved, that Leonardo da Vinci was a warlock, but in any case his depiction of the Last Supper included fish, so she’s using caviar.  Performing the Seven Wonders will mark the end of one of their freedom as the next Supreme assumes her new role, and it might also mark the demise of the others.  Cordelia agrees, stating that since Fiona failed to name the next Supreme, they are allowing them all to make the attempt.  She loosely quotes the Bible by saying that when they were children they spoke like children, but as women they must cast aside their childish things and accept that they are now women.  “Kick ass tomorrow,” she finishes.

The next day, they all assemble around the dining room table.  Myrtle says that they usually move from easiest task to hardest, but since they’re breaking all of the rules, they’re going out of order.  To start, they will perform Telekinesis, Myrtle’s personal favorite.  Kyle lights the candles in front of each of the girls.  Misty Day wonders if she’ll be able to do it, and Madison points out that if she fails then she can return to the swamps.  Kyle exchanges a loving look with Zoe, who smiles back.  They begin.  Misty goes first, and it appears that she has to concentrate a lot to make the candlestick cross the table.  When it does, she is joyful.  Queenie is next, and she moves it easily.  “Yup,” she says as she blows out the candle.  Madison succeeds with little effort, and Zoe makes it look easy.

The next task is Concilium, or mind control.  Misty is charged with controlling Queenie, who says that no one controls her.  Soon she’s slapping herself.  “This is fun,” Misty laughs.  Queenie gets to turn the tables on Misty, who insists that it’s no hard feelings.  Soon Misty is pulling her own hair.  Hard.  Madison is up next and she directs her attention to Kyle, who is holding drinks behind Myrtle and Cordelia.  He drops the tray and staggers over to Madison, kissing her.  Zoe starts slapping herself when she points out that Kyle isn’t part of the test.  Madison grins and makes Kyle kiss her boot, but Zoe snaps him upright and brings him over for a kiss. Clenching her fist, Madison makes Kyle strangle Zoe, and eventually Cordelia sends Kyle flying into a wall.

The next task is to undertake a journey to the Netherworld.  Myrtle warns them that if they don’t return before sunrise, they will die.  The girls are lying in a circle on the floor with their heads together.  Misty asks Zoe what she thinks it will be like.  Zoe never wanted to know.  They chant together and call out Decensum.  Queenie returns to the chicken restaurant with the same long line of customers.  She pops up from the floor and Myrtle greets her as the first to return.  Madison is next.  She looks horrified as she recounts being cast in a network musical…the Sound of Music…as Liesl.  Zoe wakes up and bursts into tears after being caught in an endless loop where Kyle kept breaking up with her and saying that he didn’t love her.  He’s quick to console her.  That leaves Misty, who lies motionless.  In her Netherworld, she’s trapped in a middle school biology class on dissection day.  She smiles when she brings her frog back to like (which is a total ET moment).  A fellow student calls for the teacher, complaining that “she did it again.”  The teacher is furious and thinks that she snuck in a live frog.  He demands that she dissect the frog.  She refuses.  He forces her to kill the frog, and then we see that she’s in a loop.  She brings the frog back, the kid tells on her, the teacher makes her kill it, she screams. Over and over again.  Back in reality, Myrtle says that Misty is stuck.  Cordelia insists that they try to help her.  The time on the hourglass runs out and Misty’s body disintegrates into nothingness.  1 down, 3 to go….

Myrtle and Cordelia want to take a moment before the next task to pay tribute to Misty Day.  Madison is over it and ready to start again.  Queenie calls her a “stone cold bitch.”  The next task is transmutation, and before they can officially begin, Zoe disappears and reappears behind Madison. “Tag you’re it,” she says.  All three girls start a rousing game of tag as they disappear and reappear all over the house.  Soon they are outside, still laughing.  Madison says that they need a break from all of the seriousness.  Zoe runs around the house, and then suddenly Kyle screams.  Somehow Zoe impaled herself on the front gate.  As she twitches helplessly, Kyle screams for help.  He carries her into the conservatory, and Cordelia tells Queenie to perform Vitalum Vitalis.  Queenie tries and tries, but it doesn’t work.  (Oddly, though, it worked on Misty Day in the cemetery…)  Queenie apologizes and says she can’t be the Supreme.  She takes Kyle back to the house while Cordelia demands that Madison try.  Madison is caught up in her own world, demanding to be crowned Supreme or they can kiss her ass.

Cordelia sits in the living room and says that she can feel the previous Supremes watching her from the gallery.  Perhaps, she muses, if Madison is to be the Supreme, then witches are meant to die out.  Myrtle was so sure it was either Misty or Zoe.  Neither can believe that Madison is the next Supreme.

Kyle sobs over Zoe’s body.  He reminds her that she promised she’d never leave him….

What really bothers Cordelia is that Fiona always said that Madison was the next Supreme.  That’s when Myrtle speaks up.  Perhaps it’s time for Cordelia to step out of the shadows.  She has royal blood in her veins.  Perhaps she is the next Supreme.

Next we see Madison, Queenie, Cordelia and Myrtle at a smaller table with a single candlestick.  Madison thinks this is just another attempt to make her finish the Seven Wonders, but Queenie tells her to shut up. Cordelia lights the flame with no trouble, and she lights the fireplace for good measure.  For once, Madison looks nervous.  Next Cordelia makes Queenie dance, and then she lifts the piano off the ground.  Then she lies on the floor to perform Decensum.

When Cordelia awakens, she’s gasping for air.  She spent her time desperately trying to get approval from her mother and getting “bitch-slapped” in return.  She disappears, only to reappear in the doorway.  Transmutation.  That’s five of seven.  Madison wants back into the competition.  Next up, Divination.

Myrtle has hidden several objects around the house.  She tells Cordelia to divine an object belonging to a specific Supreme using a handful of pebbles.  Cordelia makes an announcement, and Queenie hurries off to find the object, which she does.  When it’s Madison’s turn, Madison declares the whole thing stupid.  She tells Queenie that there’s something in the vase above the fireplace, and then in the piano.  She’s wrong.  Knowing that she’s been exposed as a fake, Madison decides that the whole experience has been like a bad episode of “Celebrity Rehab,” and she is going back to Hollywood.  She warns them to change the locks, because once she tells TMZ what they’re up to, they’re bound to come calling with “pitchforks and Molotov cocktails.”  She storms away.  “Peace out!”

Cordelia tries to bring Zoe back to life.  It seems like it’s more difficult than it has been in previous attempts.  As she works, Queenie hold Myrtle’s hand.  Upstairs, Madison starts packing, but Kyle interrupts her.  He wants to know why she let Zoe die.  Madison makes up a story about doing it so that they could be together.  “You’re not that good of an actress,” he snarls, and he chokes her to death.  As soon as she dies, though, Zoe comes back to life.  Cordelia faints.

Kyle stares at Madison’s body.  Suddenly a little hand reaches out and caresses her hair.  It’s Spalding and one of his doll hands.  He comments that it will be easier to hide her body given that she’d already started packing.  “Who the hell are you?” Kyle asks.  “The help,” he replies.

Cordelia wakes up and discovers that the whole conservatory is glowing with life.  Her eyes are healed.  Zoe, Queenie and Myrtle smile at her.  “Behold, the next true Supreme,” she says.

Time passes.  Cordelia is sitting in the living room being interviewed about their “cult” of witches.  She explains that it’s not a cult and they don’t worship anything.  Rather they are a haven for people who show the signs.  She sends a message to all of the young witches out there—you have a home in New Orleans.  Just call or email cordelia@robichauxacademy.com (kudos if you actually email her tonight…)

Cordelia’s desk is now flooded with files of young girls who have contacted her.  She puts pins on a map to track where the new witches are popping up, and by all counts it looks like witches are not dying out after all.  Myrtle walks in and congratulates Cordelia on being such a great Supreme.  Cordelia is wondering whether or not Zoe and Queenie would be good candidates for the Council.  Myrtle warns that being on the Council means making unpopular decisions, but Cordelia thinks they can handle it.  However, Myrtle was speaking of Cordelia.  She points out that she committed an egregious act when she killed Quentin and Pembroke.  She is a blemish to all of the work that Cordelia is doing now.  “You want to be burned at the stake?  Again?” Cordelia asks incredulously.  Myrtle nods.  Cordelia won’t hear of it, but eventually she realizes that it must be done.

Once again a caravan of witches walks through the quarry to the burning place.  Myrtle is dressed in red, and once again she is tied to the stake.  Once Cordelia pronounces judgment, Myrtle tells Cordelia that she’s never been more proud.  Cordelia waves her hand, and Myrtle is consumed by the flames as Cordelia weeps.

A line of girls is wrapped around Miss Robichaux’s.  They’re all dressed in black, and some are Goth and some are sweet and innocent.  A few wear hats.  Queenie and Zoe peek at them through the window and wonder where they will all live.  “We’ll buy more houses,” Cordelia announces.  She tells the girls that she’s very proud of how far they’ve come, and she wants them to be on her Council.  Queenie has her back, and Zoe is honored.  They ask if they should let the girls in, but something pings in Cordelia’s head.  She excuses herself and walks downstairs to find Fiona sitting in the chair.

As it turns out, Fiona orchestrated the whole plan.  She planted the memory of being killed in Axeman’s head.  She splattered goat’s blood all over him, and ruined a perfectly good pair of Jimmy Choos, to do it.  When the flashback ends, Fiona tells Cordelia that it worked the way she’d planned.  Cordelia dispatched the Axeman so that she wouldn’t have to.  Cordelia found the true Supreme and now Fiona can kill her.  Cordelia wonders if this is the reason that Fiona always hated her, because she knew she’d have to kill her some day.  Fiona says that Cordelia took her power the day she was born, and every day she was reminded of it when she looked into Cordelia’s “cherubic” face.  We can see an almost unrecognizable Fiona in the light; she’s near death and her face is puffy and her hair is thin.  When Fiona sees tears, Cordelia tells her mother that she’s crying for the little girl inside of her that was always trying to get approval or get away from her mother.  Fiona offers her a knife and begs her to end it; her body hurts everywhere.  Cordelia hugs her mother, and then suddenly she’s gone.  Cordelia feels the power surge through her.

Fiona wakes up in a bed, coughing.  Roosters crow in the distance.  She stumbles over to the mirror and sees that everything is covered in dust.  She steps into her high heeled shoes and then Axeman notices that she’s awake.  He brought her some catfish to cook.  She slaps them away and he rolls his eyes.  Why does she do this every morning, he muses.  Fiona’s head snaps up.  Every morning?  He explains that every morning she acts as though she doesn’t know where she is.  It’s been going on for eternity.  She pours herself a drink, and he tells her that if she “wants a stiff one, he has one” ready for her (grabbing his crotch).  She slaps him for being vulgar, and he slaps her hard enough to knock her to the ground.  Axeman tells her to “lay off the sauce” and relax.  He hugs her and tells her that they’re together, forever.  She wanders through the house and laments the knotty pine walls.  Cordelia must have sent her here, she muses.  Axeman says that isn’t so.  They’re in heaven.  He hugs her again, and then we hear Papa Legba’s laugh.  Fiona looks up to see him smiling and laughing at her.  She’s in hell.

Cordelia walks down the stairs and meets Zoe and Queenie on the landing.  “Let’s open the doors,” she says.  Kyle, resplendent in a tuxedo, plays the part of the new butler.  He opens the door and escorts the line of young women into the house and up to their rooms.  Cordelia addresses everyone, telling them that this is a new era for witches.  One of the girls raises her hand.  “What’s a Supreme?” she asks.  “You’re looking at her,” Queenie replies.  Cordelia smiles.

And that’s the end of American Horror Story Coven.

This episode could not have any more twists and turns in it.  I didn’t think Misty would be out so soon (and certainly not dead for good), and I was shocked that Queenie couldn’t bring Zoe back to life when she resurrected Misty previously.  And I don’t understand why Myrtle was so insistent upon dying.  And I sure as hell didn’t think that Fiona would die like that, “not with a bang but with a whimper.”  I’m glad she showed up in the final episode, though.  I only wish Papa Legba had more scenes…he’s awesome.

I loved the ending, though.  I love the potential of having so many new witches at the Academy.  I love that Queenie and Zoe are right beside Cordelia as her Council.

What did you think of the show tonight?  Was it a fitting end to the series?  Leave your comments below…and I look forward to seeing you next season circa 1950…..

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